Luke_Wilbur Posted June 20, 2014 Report Share Posted June 20, 2014 The Examiner published a story, "Vatican Announces Jesus Is Not Coming Back" by William Bell A spokesperson for the Vatican officially announced that the coming of the Lord may not happen. They stated from the looks of it, Yashua, the only begotten Son of God will not return per John 14:1-3. Cardinal Giorgio Salvadore told WWN reporters that Jesus may have been drinking (perhaps from the last Supper with his disciples) when he uttered the statements of his return. He rationalized that people make promises they can't keep when they're drunk! Mr. Bell cites a story, "“Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican" published by Waterford Whispers News Cardinal Giorgio Salvadore told WWN that this years 1,981st anniversary is to be the Vatican’s last in regards to waiting for the Lord to return to Earth. “We just feel Jesus is not coming back by the looks of it.” he said. “It’s been ages like. He’s probably flat out doing other really good things for people somewhere else.” Nearly two thousand years ago, Jesus promised his disciples that he would come again in chapter John 14:1-3 of the bible: “There are many homes up where my Father lives, and I am going to prepare them for your coming. When everything is ready, then I will come and get you, so that you can always be with Me where I am. If this weren’t so, I would tell you plainly” The Vatican defended Jesus’ broken promise, claiming “he was probably drinking wine” at the time when he made the comments. Mr. Williams needs to read this disclaimer: Waterford Whispers News is a fabricated satirical newspaper and comedy website published by Waterford Whispers News. Waterford Whispers News uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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